


A Goddess of His Own

by Katalyna_Rose



Series: Vhenan and Associated Stories (Lyna Lavellan) [30]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Trespaser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:25:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8538283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katalyna_Rose/pseuds/Katalyna_Rose
Summary: The Dread Wolf has made his choice, set his path. But leaving his vhenan behind had nearly broken him. She was the only one who could change his mind, so he'd left her. But he couldn't help but decorate his new strong hold with her image.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this piece by a painting done by nipuni on tumblr. The works share a title. Check her out, if you have tumblr. Her art is incredible!

The fire in her eyes could feed his soul. She was heat and comfort and gentle touches. But sometimes, when she wanted to be, she was the fire that could destroy a city. She had thawed his frozen heart, reawakened him. He hadn’t known it was even possible.

The strokes of his brush in the wet plaster were steady, perfect, though his entire being shook. He knew it was silly, impulsive and nostalgic in a way he could not afford to be, to paint her portrait in the bowels of his new fortress. But he couldn’t help himself. This image, slowly forming beneath his steady fingers, was the only joy he had left.

He’d known that leaving her would be hard, but he hadn’t counted on exactly how hard. He could still recall with perfect clarity the way she had looked.

“Solas,” she’d said, coming up behind him, unafraid.

“You’re the Dread Wolf,” she’d announced. She’d known, had figured it out as she chased after him. He hadn’t even needed to tell her. She knew. And still…

“Ma ghilana, vhenan,” she emplored. What a wonder she was. After everything he had done, she still sought his council? She was a treasure too precious for a harellan like himself to lay claim to.

“Let me help you, Solas,” she asked again. Even still, she wanted him. How?

“I cannot do that to you, vhenan.” He hadn’t meant to call her his heart, but it was no less true than ever. Perhaps more so.

“But you would do it to yourself?” There was her fire, her anger. She angry not at him, but for him. It nearly broke him. “I cannot bear to think of you alone!”

That had shocked him. She remembered even still what she had seen in the Fade, in Nightmare’s realm. She remembered the grave stones that showed all their greatest fears. She remembered his. And she wanted to prevent it from coming true. Even after all he had done. He would never deserve her love. He couldn’t possibly drag her down this road with him.

But she’d never accept that answer, would she? His brush moved faster, almost frantic. This mural was the largest he’d ever painted. His vhenan was more than three times the height she truly was on the wall before him. He’d painted her patience this time, her compassion. She stood before him with her arms out beside her, welcoming, and her eyes closed, face serene. He’d seen her like this in the Fade.

“Solas, var lath vir suledin!” she called to him. Even as the Anchor, the mark that was his own fault, tried to destroy her and she screamed with pain, she made a promise. Elvhen was a language of intent rather than direct phonetic meaning, and she knew that. The words translated into Common would lose most of their meaning. “Our love will endure,” she said. But it meant so much more. “I love you. I won’t give up on you. I will find you. Don’t leave me. You are all I want.” All these things she had said in that one, short sentence. She would have followed him, he knew. If he’d asked, if he’d extended his hand to her, she would have taken it. And that’s why he couldn’t do it.

She deserved better.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:  
> Ma ghilana, vhenan: guide me, heart  
> Harellan: traitor/trickster  
> Var lath vir suledin: our love will endure


End file.
